” And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,
Who have been called according to his purpose.”
I feel that God has shown me something that have to be ready for anythings happen either good or bad. They are his plan and all make for his glory. Am I praise him only when I am blessed by his amazing plan? Lord, I will praise you until the last breath of mine, I will praise you more in my wilderness and pain because I know you are closer to me when I am weak. I am sorry God that I write this to you in my working time; I don’t mean to cheat my boss; I just cannot continue my work and not tell you what is in my heart. LORD, I trust you and I am better in you.
Lamentations 3: 22-23
” The steadfast love of the Lord never cease; his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.”
Without reminding my self that you are in me and you have taken care of me since you nailed on the cross, I cannot stand for today. I want to be in an awe of God so that I can feel your mighty hand wrap around me said, ” Don’t worry daughter, I am with you” (Isaiah 43: 5). If I am with you, who else will again you. No one can separate you from the love of Christ (Romans 8:38).
I tell you the truth, for this couple of months, I start to think something that I have never thought before. The thing like what if he would bring me home? When I had diagnose with pneumonia, I was so powerless and I could not sleep. I started to questioned God at first of why he put me in this situation. What had I done wrong? Why did God punish me with this kind of pain? I told him that I was exhausted and I was angry with him.
Think back to that time, I did not know Who did I think I am? I am just a dust which breath to live by God the creator of this universe. I questioned the Creator and complained about the pain I have. I did not think of the pain and sin that he paid for us by his life on the cross. I didn’t think of other brothers and sisters who have been persecuted by the world and those who are poor health condition; yet, those people are contented and never forget to give thanks and give him glory. I headed to my spiritual mom when I seek for courage and helped not Jesus because I was mad at him. I did not think of him while I was in pain. I thought he forgot me and wanted to abandon me. My spiritual mom texted me:
” Every single testimonies that I’ve read or heard from brothers and sisters in the Lord a bout pain, their personal pain, each time they all make it clear that their pain caused them to draw closer to God. They all say that physical and emotional pain made them think about and better understand the pain in Jesus suffered. And through their pain they came to a better understanding of God’s love for them. I know this to be true also.”
After I read this and took her suggestion of reading God’s word rather than picking my laptop to work, I started to pray on Psalms for comfort. I went through it and other scriptures. It makes a big changes, God shows me something that I have never thought before. He put me the courageous, gladness, and contented heart in me that make me shine through his light. It’s not only me with the word alone, it comes from the holy spirit and all of you ( my sisters and brothers in Christ) play a big part to make me bloom like a sunflower under sunlight.
For all the body of Christ and Minear, who face with difficulties,
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen; but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
This time, today, not only I am in physical pain, emotionally pain, but I am spiritually weak; Lord, I thank you that you enable me to praise you and believe in you that everything is going to be OK. If your will is to have me be a part of your mission on this earth longer, I will joyfully summit myself to you. If your will for me to be in transgression so that I can come closer to you and what I have gone through might be a testimonies for your glory; I am thank you for allowing me to do this for you. I am thank you for bringing me up to this earth and to spend eternal life with you.
Dear sisters and brothers,
I know you by the spirit of Christ and because we are one body, I am in pain with you. I am glad and have joy with you. I have pray and join in prayer for you. I hope you can feel the love we have for you in Christ. God is going to heal you physically or spiritually, everything is in his timing. I hope that prayer of an old man for Deliverance in Psalms 71: 20 would encourage you as it is always encourage me, Lord, You have shown us many troubles and distress will revive me again, and will bring me us again from the depths of the earth. May you increase our greatness and turn to comfort us. We love and Praise You!
Lord, I lift up everything in your mighty hands. I lift up my soul to you so that I can rest in peace. I will take heart and believe in you no matter what will happen tomorrow. I love you, Lord.