When Good doesn’t Happen, But Tears…

Have faith, God is working behind the scene.


When I was about to close my eyes and slept, mom burned the incense and prayed to my ancestor (She is not a believer yet, and God is working in her heart and family). I could not say even a word about this. She had never done that before even though she is not Christian. Last month or so, mom told me that I can go to church and she asked me to take my 3 brothers with me. It is the sign that God is working in her. She even used to admire me of leaving the Gospel tract for the people at the restaurant and at the public. She said it was great to leave them so people could come and read what it is about. She also had  a gospel as well. I told her to read but I had never followed and boldness to confront with her. I need courage! Mom decided to bring an Idol home because  she thought there were many bad things  happen to our family continually and business does not run well either.

1e25384c2558ab3c9d5fbb7fc335665cHowever, God tells me that If I keep asking him then he will make it happen. It is the reminder to me that even God seems to close his eyes letting mom bow down her knees before dead people, but God said in Philippians 2:13 “For God is working on you, giving you the desire and the power to do what please him.” Our testimonies are his glories and we do live to show to others about his loving and kindness for all the humankind. That by the grace of God, we all have right to stand righteous before God. Not because what we do but the Blood of Jesus. We are honor to be called the children of God through believing in the son Jesus Christ.

It is just a small portion of my days, there are so many more twisted around my self and strike me down. For the one who feel like you are the only one, please don’t feel like that again. You are not alone. There is one here and there who understand how you feel, who pain as you, who weak as you, who hurt as you, who hopeless as you and who is in the same condition or worse than you. But remember God is with you. He is with You Who Feel Like You are The Only One. God is with You Who pain is inside you. God is with you Who cries. God is with you Who mourn.

The truth is God is working behind the scene. Therefore, NO matter what the problem you are having right now: physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, and all burdens inside you, You are free to Lift it up to GOD. Keep Praying and have Faith. I do, too!

You and I are not the only one who are messed up. Stand strong for one another as the Lord Strengthen  us.

In Christ,


We are Better in Him

Roman 8:28 ” And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, Who have been called according to his purpose.” 

Roman 8:28 

” And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,

Who have been called according to his purpose.” 

I feel that God has shown me something that have to be ready for anythings happen either good or bad. They are his plan and all make for his glory. Am I praise him only when I am blessed by his amazing plan? Lord, I will praise you until the last breath of mine, I will praise you more in my wilderness and pain because I know you are closer to me when I am weak. I am sorry God that I write this to you in my working time; I don’t mean to cheat my boss; I just cannot continue my work and not tell you what is in my heart. LORD, I trust you and I am better in you.

Lamentations 3: 22-23

” The steadfast love of the Lord never cease; his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.”

Without reminding my self that you are in me and you have taken care of me since you nailed on the cross, I cannot stand for today. I want to be in an awe of God so that I can feel your mighty hand wrap around me said, ” Don’t worry daughter, I am with you” (Isaiah 43: 5). If I am with you, who else will again you. No one can separate you from the love of Christ (Romans 8:38).

I tell you the truth, for this couple of months, I start to think something that I have never thought before. The thing like what if he would bring me home? When I had diagnose with pneumonia, I was so powerless and I could not sleep.  I started to questioned God at first of why he put me in this situation. What had I done wrong? Why did God punish me with this kind of pain? I told him that I was exhausted and I was angry with him.

c193a5653a207860c68019a31d5c949cThink back to that time, I did not know Who did I think I am? I am just a dust which breath to live by God the creator of this universe. I questioned the Creator and complained about the pain I have. I did not think of the pain and sin that he paid for us by his life on the cross. I didn’t think of other brothers and sisters who have been persecuted by the world and those who are poor health condition; yet, those people are contented and never forget to give thanks and give him glory. I headed to my spiritual mom when I seek for courage and helped not Jesus because I was mad at him. I did not think of him while I was in pain. I thought he forgot me and wanted to abandon me. My spiritual mom texted me:

” Every single testimonies that I’ve read or heard from brothers and sisters in the Lord a bout pain, their personal pain, each time they all make it clear that their pain caused them to draw closer to God. They all say that physical and emotional pain made them think about and better understand the pain in Jesus suffered. And through their pain they came to a better understanding of God’s love for them. I know this to be true also.”

After I read this and took her suggestion of reading God’s word rather than picking my laptop to work, I started to pray on Psalms for comfort. I went through it and other scriptures. It makes a big changes, God shows me something that I have never thought before. He put me the courageous, gladness, and contented heart in me that make me shine through his light. It’s not only me with the word alone, it comes from the holy spirit and all of you ( my sisters and brothers in Christ) play a big part to make me bloom like a sunflower under sunlight.

For all the body of Christ  and Minear, who face with difficulties,

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen; but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

This time, today, not only I am in physical pain, emotionally pain, but I am spiritually weak; Lord, I thank you that you enable me to praise you and believe in you that everything is going to be OK. If your will is to have me be a part of your mission on this earth longer, I will joyfully summit myself to you. If your will for me to be in transgression so that I can come closer to you and what I have gone through might be a testimonies for your glory; I am thank you for allowing me to do this for you. I am thank you for bringing me up to this earth and to spend eternal life with you.

Dear sisters and brothers,

I know you by the spirit of Christ and because we are one body, I am in pain with you. I am glad and have joy with you. I have pray and join in prayer for you. I hope you can feel the love we have for you in Christ. God is going to heal you physically or spiritually, everything is in his timing. I hope that prayer of an old man for Deliverance in Psalms 71: 20 would encourage you as it is always encourage me, Lord, You have shown us many troubles and distress will revive me again, and will bring me us again from the depths of the earth. May you increase our greatness and turn to comfort us. We love and Praise You!

Lord, I lift up everything in your mighty hands. I lift up my soul to you so that I can rest in peace. I will take heart and believe in you no matter what will happen tomorrow. I love you, Lord.

In Christ,





You Know Me

A Million reasons behind my smiles and tears, you know it all.

What would you feel if you see someone cry while you entering the office?….How did I feel when someone see me crying? I was blessed because they will helped and ministered to me to be strong in the Lord….


I am better in him, Psalms 62:5 “Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.”

I cannot explain why I cannot be strong and not cry when problems happen to me. I am confused like a ball that bounced up and down. I like to smile whenever I come to office, I love to see them smile. I am blessed that I am able to love them genuinely. I need that kind of love and comfort to make me breath. I give them my hugs and kisses because I want to share the love that I get from GOD. My smiles is my happiness uniform that God put on me.  Thank be to God that I do not have to hide this from you. Thank God that I am called and welcomed to be in your arm and tell you every things. Thank God that I can cry as much as I can. I know you understand me even I say nothing.

To my dear friends,

All strange things that I do to you in words or in deeds of love, they are really from the love of God that I want you to taste the goodness in him-the Love of brother and sister. The joy that I have when I am in the family of Christ. I just want to let you know that I have never ever think of taking all of you for granted.

Ephesians 6:23 “Peace to the brothers and sisters, and love with faith from God the father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”

GOD is who he says, 1 Corinthians 1:9 “God is faithful and He will do what he says He will do.”

I love to talk to him and tell him about my problems because he knows me. He listens and comforts me. He doesn’t look down on me while I am crying. But he comes closer in my weakness. I love you Lord! You Know Me because you are the one who created me. I am thank you that I do not have to explain to you why I say this and Why I do this. I am thank you that you are the god of courage that I can cry out to you in the midst of problem, Hebrews 13:5 “For God has said I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

“Special thank to my working family and also the family in Christ. When you saw me cry, you did not look down me or tried to push me down. You were there to comfort, to be with me, to spoke god words to me, and to encouraged me in the Lord. I would like to tell you that I am blessed beyond measures to be surround by you guys and to be loved. You all are really touch my heart. This working environment truly shows the Love of Christ. “

Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

That what friends are for

 The first and foremost reason for me to blog about my personal stories is to praise God and giving thanks to him. Some people they can sing beautifully to praise god and shows their loves to him. I am rejoice in him when I listen to christian music all the time. Since I am not gifted with the ability to sing, I choose to write so that I can praise from my heart. As some people, they can write a song about God to praise and worship him, I choose to share my personal stories in the purpose of glorifying him and encouraging others people. When I share my personal problems with other people, I have learned that I am not the only one who faces with those kinds darkest seasons. Their stories encourage me and I hope you are encouraged by me in some other ways, too. I want you to know that GOD IS WITH YOU and you are not the only one.

There are a lot of things that happens in our lives and make us feel up and down like riding on a roller coaster. GOD knows each one of us that we should not hide from him. It always the sweetest things to come before GOD telling him our problems, crying to him, and listen to his response. Seek him and you will see, Ask and you will receive, Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.”

Isn’t it great that we have one true God that know us deeply than we know ourselves? Yes, it is so amazing! 

With God’s Love,